"You're never too old to have a happy childhood".  For many of us who had a pretty bad childhood, esp. from that one parent you longed to get some sliver of approval from, the "re-boot" was far better.  Allowing yourself to be who you actually are, although fraught with difficulty, was just plain wonderful.  One of the worst things about trying to fit your square peg into that round hole is that you end up hurting innocent people that love you.   I never meant to do that.    --  but in hindsight, coupled with years of "seasoning", that is exactly what I did.  Mea culpa, mea culpa.  The following years have been MUCH better.