"Circle Of Life"

Two of our cats are nearing the end.  One was our true Alpha Cat.  She protected others.  She faced down bullies.  She was always gentle with us  --  never a claw or a bite.  Her name is Sheba.  The other, Natasha, was almost feral when we adopted her.  After some time (years) she just hopped up into my lap and she accepted us.

Both have lost control  --  Sheba seems oblivious to anything called a "litter box"  --  right now, the WORLD is her litter box   ---   including my arm  --  TWICE.

'Tasha has failing kidneys  --  lots of water, lots of pee  --  she always tries to bury it  --  even on any one of the rugs - a varied lot of Persian Rugs, some tribal, some formal.

We give them a lot of latitude.  They have been wonderful companions, seeming to understand our moods.

One cat is visibly upset.  We joke that another (a tortie named "Gidget") is our "college girl"  --  off course she went to U.C. Santa Cruz ("peace", "love", "Good Vibes", "GO SLUGS!").  We think that right now she is thinking about "the circle of life".

"The Circle of Life", I now realize means much more when you're 74 than when you're 19, 20, or 24.

I'm going to miss our two old girls.  I'm also getting ready to lose some others.  They were all adopted between 2003 and 2006.  We also adopted some older cats that needed special care  --  both of them are gone.  Both were really neat old cats  --  Jules a nice old Seal Point Male and Lily, a VERY affectionate Lilac Point Female.

Losing Sheba and 'Tasha will be difficult.  Watching the others slowly fade away is also difficult  --  especially since I see myself fading away, a bit at a time.

Anyone who tells you "age is just a number" has never been old, or old and sick.

Right now, I don't think we will be adopting any more animals.  We are getting too old to care for them, can no longer afford all the vet visits a new animal needs, and are afraid of what will happen to them if WE die first.