This from "The Onion" -- I just want you to remember this New Year will not be very different from the old one --- UNLESS you make it so.
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ATLANTA—As part of its recent efforts to publicly align itself with
fundamentalist Christian values, the Chick-fil-A restaurant chain
announced today the debut of its new Queer-Hatin' Cordon Bleu sandwich
that would be on sale in all of the company's 1,600 restaurants this
In a press conference to reporters, company representatives said the
homophobic new sandwich will include the national fast food chain’s
trademark fried chicken filet wrapped in a piece of specially-smoked No
Homo ham that would be topped with a slice of Swiss cheese and lathered
in a creamy new Thousand Island-based Fag Punching sauce.
"The Queer-Hatin' Cordon Bleu is our company's way of showing our
firm commitment to strong, Christian family values," said Chick-fil-A
spokesman Robert Gary, before adding that the vehemently anti-gay rights
sandwich comes served in a combo with waffle fries and a medium soda
for just $6.95. "From the very first morsel of this savory meal to the
very last bite, customers can envision gays burning in hell with their
sodomizing cohorts, and know that our sandwich is on their side.”
"Of course, the young ones will want to finish their meals off right
with a No Fudge Packin' Soft Serve Cone," Gary added. "I can't think of a
better way to follow up a sandwich this good."
While the release of the Queer-Hatin’ Cordon Bleu has led to anger
from pro-gay rights groups, loyal Chick-fil-A customers claim they are
happy they can finally enjoy a sandwich that takes a firm stance on the
issue of homosexuality.
"Any sandwich that combines that great Chick-fil-A flavor with a
hefty dose of vitriolic homophobia is definitely going to keep me coming
back for more," said Atlanta customer John Oaks. “Come Wednesday, I’m
going to be first in line for this thing.”
According to sources, the Queer-Hatin’ Cordon Bleu is merely the
first of Chick-fil-A’s new family values menu which is set to include
the AIDS Is God’s Curse chicken nugget combo and the Fags Caused 9/11
strawberry fruit smoothie
Schedule for Week of April 26, 2015 - The key report this is week is Q1 GDP on Wednesday. Also the FOMC will meet on Tuesday and Wednesday, and release a statement on Wednesday. Other key repo...
19 hours ago