Suicide

I just read about another suicide.

ANOTHER SUICIDE!!

I have no idea if it was due to being bullied, or just about the difficulty of being gay in our world. In any case -- isn't it enough?

Isn't there ANY humanity left, any compassion left, in the hearts of today's children?

I was bullied for many years, a long time ago. My life in primary school was a living hell. Many is the time I thought of killing myself. Many is the time I had fantasies of killing my tormentors.

I remember very distinctly hearing about Columbine, hearing that those boys had been bullied, ridiculed, made fun of (now we do not know exactly how true that was -- but, I suspect it was truer than the story that came out later). My very first reaction was --- GOOD!!! It's about time someone got back at those people -- those kids who make life miserable for so many of their classmates. The kids who make you want to hide. The kids who make you not want to answer questions -- because you'd do ANYTHING to remain anonymous.

Those kids whose actions forever changed the arc of your life.

Dumb, stupid, evil, super-entitled devil children who changed forever how you react to people, how you trust, or do not trust people, how you ALWAYS worry about everything.

I've spent years moving past THAT past, years attempting to undo the crushing effects of being the class punching bag, the one everyone else took out their failures, disappointments, anger on.

I almost understand why some of these kids did it. Why they killed themselves. All they had to look forward to was more of the same -- two years, four years, however long. An eternity to a 12, 13, 15, 17, year old.

Do any of the evil bigots who celebrate these senseless deaths have any idea how much this old woman despises them? How much they are hated (yes, HATED!)?

Isn't it enough yet? Haven't you destroyed enough lives? Will you do the same to your son or daughter if they are gay or lesbian? Will you let them live --- but fill them with guilt because your "God" hates them ("now honey God loves you -- but hates who you've become -- what you do. WHO PUT THESE IDEAS IN YOUR FOOL HEAD? You 'straighten up' -- RIGHT NOW!!").

When will these people become CHRISTIANS, and learn to love?